smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
worst night to have a conscience
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
