are you so shy because you have an std?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
