Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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