After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
