I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
