If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
