Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
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Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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