I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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