god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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