She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
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I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
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I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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