I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
