So drunk its hurt
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Can you bring me the toilet please
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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