I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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