If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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