Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
