Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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