I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize