is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
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