I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
