Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
