I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
