Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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