glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
