i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
