We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Randomize