is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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