Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
