Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
