Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
