he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem