So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.