she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine