mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son