Sry I called you an 8
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
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I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.