Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month