My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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