DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
