dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
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