My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
