Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
