we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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