It's a beautiful day for a hangover
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
