so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
