is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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