Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
