He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
