How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
