it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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