Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
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After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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