This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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