Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
