what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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