Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
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does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
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speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
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