just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
