I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
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You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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