That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think my vagina is haunted
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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