Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
you never un-have a 4some
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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