You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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