You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
