You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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