I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
