so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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