what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
