Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
