Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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