They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
