finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
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the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
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that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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